Is Infertility Testing Your Marriage? 10 Tips For Managing Your Relationship

Infertility is a medical condition that affects bothdon't hamper your ability to communicate and
partners in a relationship. This is true even if it is onlysupport one another.
one of the partners who is experiencing reproductiveSeek counseling. Sometimes you might need the help
problems; infertility is a couples issue. Maintainingof a therapist. Infertility can create very strong
communication between the two of you is of utmostemotions and you might not know how to support
importance. You will be the support system for eachone another or you might have differing ideas about
other as you navigate the options you have forhow to proceed with your lives. An impartial party
adding a child to your family. It is likely you will havecan help you communicate more effectively than you
good days and bad days together. Learn from thesemight be able to manage on your own.
experiences and your relationship will grow evenEnjoy date nights. Remember what it was like when
stronger.you weren't trying to get pregnant? Get some of
What was once basic communication suddenlythat romance back through date nights. Try not to
becomes extremely complex. The simple act of tellingtalk about having a baby or your infertility. Instead,
each other how you feel may seem like anengage in meaningful conversation to rekindle your
insurmountable task. With that challenge in mind, hererelationship.
are ten ideas to keep your relationship at theMake a plan. At some point you will need to
forefront during your infertility journey:determine what your plan of action will be. For
Communicate. Make sure you communicate openlyexample, will you attempt in vitro fertilization (IVF)?
and honestly with your spouse. He may notIf so, how many times or at what point will you
understand your desire to have a baby or he mightstop? Will you consider adoption? If so, when will you
be as emotional as you are. Help each other learnstart researching the different ways to adopt? Will
what your family-building options are so that you canyou consider living child free? At what point? It is
make decisions together.important for both partners to agree to the same
Support each other. During this time in your life youplan. Be aware, however, that many couples will not
will need a lot of support from your partner.always be ready for the same step at the same
Remember that he, too, needs you to hear his sidetime. Try to have patience with your partner as you
or understand his point of view. Recognize that youwork to find a plan that is acceptable to both of you.
might not be experiencing the same feelings. This isMake small gestures. Do a little something for your
okay. Acknowledge their emotional state, even if youpartner. If you are a man, consider flowers, cards,
cannot understand his or her feelings.favorite candies, or gift certificates for her to
Minimize regrets. Find a friend or someone you trustpamper herself. If you are a woman, consider cards,
who you can tell things you are not ready to say togift certificates, or a six-pack of his favorite beer.
your partner. Although most of your feelings andEven a quick email to let your partner know you are
opinions should eventually be expressed, sometimes itthinking about him or her can do wonders for keeping
is best to run ideas or thoughts by another partythe relationship strong.
before actually saying them out loud and potentiallySay "I love you." During a time when your relationship
doing irreparable damage to your relationship.is probably strained, it is important to remember that
Advocate. Relationships with in-laws or other familyyou made a life-long commitment to each other.
members can be stressed when you are experiencingDon't forget to say, "I love you." Without your love
infertility. Tell your partner how they can help youfor one another there will be little satisfaction when
communicate with their family and friends. This is ayou achieve your dreams of parenthood.
tense time for everyone, even your in-laws or yourOnce you recognize and accept that you and your
partner's best friend.partner will most likely approach infertility differently,
Reduce stress. Recognize that you have differingit will be easier for you to navigate your relationship.
ways of coping. For example, maybe you like toCommunication is of utmost importance and can be
spend your time researching the reason(s) for yourthe glue that holds the relationship together.
infertility and possible treatment options. He wants toRemember infertility impacts both partners in the
go for a five-mile run instead. Discuss your copingrelationship. Tackle this obstacle together; in each
mechanisms with each other so that your differencesothers arms.